HUMILITY AND MEEKNESS — The Two Most Misunderstood Virtues (8 Tips from the Saints)

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Our Lord said,

"Learn of me, for I am meek and humble of heart,"

and

"Love one another as I have loved you."

These two commands from Our Lord remind us of the importance imitating Our Lord in the virtues of humility, meekness and charity. In this post I will share some practical strategies from my spiritual reading that can help us all to grow in these virtues and help others around us do the same.

These virtues are so important because they help take the focus off ourselves and put it back on God. I love this quote from St. Carlo Acutis:

"Sadness is looking at ourselves, and happiness is looking towards God."

What a beautiful way to sum it up—keeping our eyes fixed on Christ, doing His will, and detaching from our own will.

Humility and meekness are foundational in our spiritual life, yet they're often misunderstood.

What Humility and Meekness Really Mean

Many people confuse humility and meekness with being timid or thinking poorly of ourselves. But that's far from what these virtues actually mean.

• Humility is the virtue of having a modest, truthful estimation of oneself, recognizing one's limitations and total dependence on God, and submitting to His will.

  
  

• Meekness is strength under control. It is Christlike self-control in the face of provocation: firmness without harshness, courage without resentment.

It's not about thinking we're incapable or worthless. Rather, it's recognizing the truth that we depend on God, that everything we receive is from Him, and acknowledging the gifts and talents He's given us. It's not wrong to appreciate the gifts He's given us—we just have to be careful to avoid getting puffed up with pride, and thinking we've done things on our own, without God's help. Everything is through God's grace, and we always depend on Him.

The Litany of Humility

One great resource that has helped me tremendously is the Litany of Humility. This beautiful prayer asks Our Lord to deliver us from certain desires that take our focus off Him and instead place it on ourselves or other people. The prayer also asks to be delivered from fears that distract us from what truly matters—fearing only the offense of Our Lord.

Many years ago, I didn't really understand humility and had heard many false definitions. When I came across the Litany of Humility, I finally understood what true humility is. Let me share a few parts:

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, deliver me, Jesus...

The prayer continues with desires of being honored, praised, and preferred. Can you see how these keep our focus on what others think of us rather than how God sees us?

It also says:

From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, deliver me, Jesus.

The prayer ends beautifully:

That others may be esteemed more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it...

This is a reminder that we rely on the grace of God to grow in humility.

Practical Tips from the Saints

Here are 8 strategies I've discovered in my spiritual reading for growing in meekness, humility, and fraternal charity:

1. Practice the Opposite Virtue

St. Teresa of Avila said:

"Offer up to God any sister who is at fault and strive for your own to practice the virtue which is the opposite of her fault with great perfection."

This is such an amazing suggestion! Many times, we feel helpless when we see someone around us falling into sins, especially when it's someone close to us, and it's a repeated pattern. If someone around you frequently falls into anger, for example, combat that by specifically practicing patience yourself.

By doing this, you accomplish four things:

1. You give a good example and hopefully help your neighbor grow in virtue

   
   

2. You gain merit for yourself and grow in virtue

   
   

3. You show God how much you love Him

   
   

4. It becomes reparation for your sins and for that other person

2. Look for Virtues and Good Motives

St. Thérèse of Lisieux taught:

"Should the devil bring before me the defects of a sister, I hasten to look for her virtues and good motives. I call to mind that though I may have seen her fall once, she may have gained many victories over herself which in her humility she concealed, and also that what appears to be a fault may very well, owing to the good intention that prompted it, be an act of virtue."

Since only God truly knows our hearts, we should avoid judging the intentions of others, choosing instead to assume the best and give them the benefit of the doubt.

3. Acts of Charity

St. Thérèse gives five specific ways to combat negative thoughts about others with 5 Acts of Charity:

• Pray specifically for the person

• Render a hidden service

• Speak kindly (to or about them)

• Offer a friendly gesture

• Name one real virtue or good intention you see

We should oppose these thoughts, too, by positive acts of charity: praying particularly for this person, seizing every possible opportunity to render him some service, and acting in an especially kind and friendly manner toward him. The mantle of charity must be wide enough to cover, not only the faults of our friends, but even those of our enemies, and those who annoy us.

By nature, we want to avoid people who offend or bother us, but practicing charity is really important because it helps us to grow in virtue.

4. A Tip for Shared Faults

If I knew that both of us had the same fault, I should go to him and ask his advice as to how I could correct it. In order to advise me correctly, he would think about this fault and would soon see that he too was guilty of it, and in this way we should both learn how to correct it. One whose eye is pure knows how to deal lovingly with his neighbor. (St. Mary Magdalen dei Pazzi)

5. St. Thérèse's Secret to Peace

When someone frustrates you, immediately pray for them and ask God to reward them for giving you an opportunity to suffer.

St. Thérèse taught a novice:

"Whenever anyone exasperates you, even to the point of making you angry, the way to regain peace of soul is to pray for that person and to ask God to reward her for giving you an opportunity to suffer."

Instead of seeing difficulties as negative and focusing on our own suffering, we can flip the script. We can thank God for the opportunity to grow in virtue and pray for that person. I know this isn't easy, but preparing our hearts in advance makes a huge difference.

6. St. Thérèse's Proactive Advice

The key to handling frustrating moments is to "soften your heart in advance."

And she suggested that the novice forestall these occasions by trying to "soften her heart in advance."

This is so important! If we're caught off guard, it's easy to react with anger, pride, and impatience—ways that are contrary to imitating our Lord's meekness and humility.

If we prepare ourselves in advance, we will feel much better prepared to handle the predictable frustrations of the day. Like the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

7. St. Francis de Sales on Perfect Charity

The greatest degree of self-renunciation is doing what your neighbor wants, in the way that pleases them.

St. Francis de Sales says:

"To attain the perfection of love, it is not enough for me to work for my neighbor. I must also do what he wants in the way that pleases him without showing any displeasure. By doing this, I shall acquire greater merit because I shall be practicing the greatest degree of self-renunciation."

This highlights how valuable it is to renounce our own will. When we focus on doing something in a way that pleases someone else, we're practicing charity, which "bears all things, endures all things, never showing itself annoyed or crushed by the burden it bears."

8. St. Thérèse on Bearing with Faults

True charity consists in bearing all our neighbors' defects and not being surprised at their mistakes.

In the last months of her life, St. Thérèse wrote:

"I know that true charity consists in bearing all my neighbor's defects, in not being surprised at mistakes, but in being edified at the smallest virtues."

The key is not letting these defects catch us off guard. Soften your heart in advance, don't be surprised by mistakes, and focus on finding something good and positive—even the smallest virtues. This definitely takes practice, but the more we do it, the easier it becomes.

The Importance of Perseverance

9. When We Fall, Get Back Up and Try Again

Here's an encouraging quote on perseverance:

"It is not in our power to free ourselves from this instability of our nature, and therefore we cannot avoid every slackening in virtue, every negligence, weakness, or fault. But it is within our power to correct ourselves as soon as we perceive that we have failed. This is the kind of perseverance that God demands of us, and when we practice it faithfully and are always prompt in rising after each fall, He will crown our efforts by granting us the supreme grace of final perseverance."

We're going to fall frequently, especially when things catch us off guard or we're tired.

As a homeschooling mom of six, I'm tested in ways I never was as a college student or in a professional environment. There are messes, noise, and constant demands—it's nonstop. Being pressed and tested in this environment helps me grow in humility because I see so many of my weaknesses and faults. It's a blessing! I could remain blind to them if I weren't being put to the fire and tested.

But it's important to remember that it's expected we're going to fall. By the grace of God, we keep working on these virtues and detaching from ourselves.

Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Christ

My main takeaway is that we always seek to imitate our Lord and His example. The more we reflect on this and meditate on it, the more we grow. I love this little prayer:

"Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine."

St. Teresa of Avila said that the foundational stone of our spiritual growth is to first want it. If our main goal is to aspire to perfection, we fix our eyes on Christ—not on ourselves, not on our failures, not on the times we've fallen.

Remember when St. Peter saw our Lord walking on the water? Peter came out to meet Him and was walking on the water too. But the moment he looked down and remembered he was walking on water, he started to sink. That can happen to us, too. We must keep our eyes fixed on Christ, focus on rising again, and keep working on growing in these virtues.

Final Thoughts

I hope you found these tips encouraging! These strategies from the saints have been so helpful in my own journey. I pray that we can all grow in meekness and humility so we can imitate our Lord and love one another as He has loved us.

God bless you!

What about you? Have you prayed the Litany of Humility? Which saint's advice resonates most with you? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Short Prayers to Keep Handy

• “Jesus, meek and humble of Heart, make my heart like unto Thine.”

  
  

• “From ________, deliver me, Jesus.”

  
  

• “Lord, bless N. and reward them.”

  
  

• “Grant me the grace to desire what pleases You.”

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• Divine Intimacy — https://amzn.to/46sJb9r

• Uniformity with God’s Will — https://amzn.to/4pMECyc

• Searching for and Maintaining Peace — https://amzn.to/46KWhxJ

• Story of a Soul (St. Thérèse) — https://amzn.to/46E5KH6

• Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence — https://amzn.to/3VIGQRD

• Introduction to the Devout Life — https://amzn.to/3VGvVb6

• Abandonment to Divine Providence — https://amzn.to/48BiUHq

• Blessed is She Litany-of-Humility Planner (code ANA10JMJ for 10% off) — https://blessedisshe.net/discount/ANA10JMJ?ref=PRAYERANDPRODUCTIVITY

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Watch Next -- For practical examples and a brief walkthrough of these tips, watch the companion video here: https://youtu.be/nxslN50hHjo

Video Timestamps/Chapters ⏰

0:00 │ Introduction: Imitating Jesus in Humility & Meekness

0:45 │ Blessed Carlo Acutis: "Sadness is looking at ourself and happiness is looking towards God."

1:05 │ What is True Humility? (It's not thinking poorly of yourself!)

2:24 │ What is Meekness? (Strength Under Control)

2:34 │ A Powerful Prayer for Growth: The Litany of Humility

5:43 │ 8 Tips from the Saints

1. 5:49 │ St. Teresa of Ávila: When another person is at fault, practice the opposite virtue with great perfection yourself.

2. 7:31 │ St. Thérèse of Lisieux: When the devil points out another's defect, hasten to look for their virtues and good motives instead.

3. 8:03 │ St. Thérèse's 5 Acts of Charity: Practical ways to combat negative thoughts toward someone (prayer, service, kindness, etc.).

4. 8:42 │ A Tip for Shared Faults: If you struggle with the same fault as someone else, humbly ask for their advice on how to correct it.

5. 9:05 │ St. Thérèse's Secret to Peace: When someone exasperates you, immediately pray for them and ask God to reward them for giving you an opportunity to suffer.

6. 10:17 │ St. Thérèse's Proactive Advice: The key to handling frustrating moments is to "soften your heart in advance."

7. 10:50 │ St. Francis de Sales on Perfect Charity: The greatest degree of self-renunciation is doing what your neighbor wants, in the way that pleases them.

8. 11:43 │ St. Thérèse on Bearing with Faults: True charity consists in bearing all our neighbor's defects and not being surprised at their mistakes.

12:33 │ The Importance of Perseverance (Why it's okay to fall!)

14:54 │ Main Takeaway (Jesus, Meek and Humble of Heart…)

15:22│ St. Teresa of Ávila on Holy Desire: "The foundational stone of our spiritual edifice... is to first want it."

15:55 │ Final Encouragement: Keeping Your Eyes Fixed on